04-28-02 - 5:51 pm
i dont write alot. sometimes i'll run to the keyboard with a million things to type and say and expres, and after i type the first sentence, my inspiration is lost, laziness consumes me, and i just drift back to whatever it was i was doing. thats awful i guess. for instance, this morning id probably been typing for 15 minutes about this dream i had last night, read it, and quickly hit the x in the top right of my screen. i do that with alot of things. hit the x i mean, figuratively of course. i get bored or lose intrest so fast in 99% of everything, and i dont like that. its very hard for me to learn about anything, because so little grasps my attention. i guess its a.d.d, but its sad to throw all of that into a 3 letter acronymn, i think those are acronymns anyway, and here i am, too lazy to look it up.
i had a dream that i was in some mud jungle, full of hammer headed crocodiles and birds with spikes for beaks. i remember i carried you (her) through the woods. she had on a solid white dress. we were being chased by bears and wolves, that i remember anyway. and the whole time you (her) werent scared. you kept staring into my eyes. thats all i remember. i just remember you wouldnt let me be scared.
i took a shower, shaved, and got dressed to find out that i dont need to go anywhere. yeah i guess its not a big deal, alot of kids have it alot worse, i know, which is why i use this paperless diary to smother the flame my family is constantly fueling. im sorry you have to be with her. i hate how she takes advantage of every second your in the same house with her. she doesnt deserve you, and you dont deserve that. i hate them. all of them. ill have a light turned out, she'll come turn it on, so i assume shes coming to do something. she turns around and leaves. she makes an effort do things like that.
http://pinkdrama.diaryland.com