01-18-03 - 9:29 pm
i drove around while it snowed with my windows down, heat on full blast, with glycerine by bush blaring. i stared into the bits of powdered miracle that fell so slowly..so quietly with no care in mind. simple thoughts like trying to remember the first time i ever ate superman ice cream at kays kastle. the first time i tied my shoe and mrs lowe gave me a scratch and sniff sticker. the first time i pissed my pants at nap time. the day i graduated 5th grade and i thought i had to move out and get a job. the day i broke #14s left forearm in the first football game of the season against east ridge. the way i sat by myself at dances, and trying to remember why i went. watching kids do the macarena, kids with ll bean backpacks, nike shoes, being manager of the girls tennis team in 8th grade and talking about the simpsons with the coach while we threw tennis balls at horses. the first day of high school and how it was exactly like middle school. the way no one ever really changed. the cool kids who were cool in 1st and 2nd grade, the ones who always got picked in duck duck goose and heads up seven up, were still the cool kids. and i was still the kid who sat in the last row and never had my thumb pushed down. and i didnt, nor do i now, care. in 1st grade i ate an ant in front of mrs pollacks class. in 4th grade i ate 3 crayons to impress kristen kenny. and in 5th grade i ate a beatle. the snow looked like cotton. the kind you'd use to glue onto a paperplate to make a snowman for your mom for christmas. i always spelled it snoe. they called me the cop from hell when we played death tag. i sucked at tether ball. i remember. i like to remember. i remember going to the beach with a moustache, fat cheeks, and geled hair, and having little to no one to talk to. i remember going to metallica for 3 hours and head banging and screaming at the top of my lungs until they had every part of what was in me on stage with them. i liked to take scissors and cut up laundry baskets on long road trips. play gameboy and read the road signs until we got there. i liked the waves the day that everyone on the church trip almost drown, broke their ear rings, and so forth. i remember. the snow is still falling. im lost in a trailer park. glycerine is on repeat. i hate the snoe.
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